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National Novel Writing Month is in November. Should I sign myself up?

Pros: I’ve got a topic (though not a full-fledged plot) that’s still just as interesting to me as it was when I started kicking it around a year ago.  I’ve always (always!) wanted to write a novel. I’m getting a handle on my daily schedule, and the Poetry Out Loud contest that I’m sponsoring has been pushed back to January to work better with teachers’ schedules. I find myself spending free periods goofing off online again–I could just as easily be writing. I’ll have Thanksgiving Break (briefly!). I could always not sign up with the website and cut my personal writing goal in half–25,000 words rather than 50,000 words. My doing it might encourage the students to do it with me, which would be great press for the school, etc. And as they say–if not now, when?

Cons: Seriously, what am I thinking? Why do I think it’s a good idea to add another immensely time-consuming thing to an already-consumed schedule? I have no time! I also have no real plot.

Decisions, decisions.

The middle school chaplain, who gave our chapel talk today, discussed balance. She advised the students to figure out what was important and focus on that, and to leave the unessential strewn by the wayside.  Now, when I listen to sermons (of whatever kind), I generally find myself conducting a discussion with the speaker in my head, and today was no exception.

Yes, I think we can all agree that Britney Spears’ underwear is an instance of the “unessential”  things which deserve to be left behind. On the other hand, I find it considerably more difficult to discern what is unessential in my life than one might think would be the case.

Which is most essential: a bed to sleep in; clothes to wear to work; a paid-off credit card; tea from Starbucks in the morning?

Which is most essential: quality time with my parents and siblings; quality time with my boyfriend; quality time with my friends; quality time with my students?

Which is most essential: sufficient sleep; sufficient preparation for class; sufficient time spent alone; sufficient time spent with others?

I don’t mean to whine. I have more control over my life than I ever have before, so in some sense I have it easier than most of my students probably do. But how do I go about making those choices? How do I choose between what is necessary and what is necessary? How do I build enough of the “unnecessary” things–tea, knitting, reading, relaxation–into my life that I don’t feel as though I’m constantly living on the hard and bitter edge of necessity? And if I can’t seem to figure these things out, how will my students?

From Rainer Maria Rilke’s “Letters to a Young Poet”

You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can...to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.